


In The Woods With A Giant Scorpion

by Maqya



Category: Serious Sam (Video Games), Serious Sam 4 (Video Games)
Genre: Anal, Anal Fisting, Breast Fucking, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Femdom, Fisting, Hand Jobs, Odd As Fuck Ship But It's The First Work In The Fandom So It's Also The Only Correct Ship, One Shot, Oral, Rimming, Size Difference, Size Kink, Teratophilia, This Will Be On My Account Forever, somewhat comedic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maqya/pseuds/Maqya
Summary: When you're on duty in the middle of nowhere with a giant scorpion it would be absolutely foolish to not try and fuck it.
Relationships: Hellfire/Charlie The Arachnoid
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	In The Woods With A Giant Scorpion

Hellfire gave off yet another long bored sigh.

"God there's jack shit to do! Can't something I can legally shoot come by soon!?" She stepped away from the campfire she was sitting by, looking through the treeline impatiently.

"Why would you want enemy activity? Is it not preferred that danger does not come our way?" Asked Charlie, the arachnoid Hellfire was stationed with.

"It's not danger if they're dead now is it?" She asked back rhetorically.

"I suppose. Still an unnecessary risk." He brushed it off.

She gave him and annoyed look. "You know, for how bad-ass you look you could flaunt it a lot more than you do."

He was slowly walking around the perimeter of the clearing their camp was set up in "I don't think I'll ever understand your species priorities but it's either fighting with humanity or be enslaved by Mental so this is still the better choice." He told her blankly. He thought he was something in the forest and his weapon started riling up for a second before taking a second look and not seeing anything.

"I'm fighting an Alien invasion with a giant scorpion man with miniguns for hands on the edge of enemy territory and I still managed to be bored." Thinking outloud to herself. "Hey, what do scorpions do for fun? To pass the time?" She turned towards him.

"Hmmm... I guess the earth way of saying it would be that our species spent a considerable amount of time praying to our god. Then mental either killed or enslaved all of us." He ended it abruptly.

Hellfire walked over and stood infront of him. "So that's like 90% of Alien species right now. But what do _you_ do when we're not fighting?" She asked again.

He was thinking for a bit, his stinger gently scratching the top of his head in an oddly cute fashion. "I've picked up human literature. Your species writes a lot of fascinating things, both fictional and real. Sam Stone even recommended me an author. Never saw him as the type to sit down and read." He told her, and sounded a bit excited over it too.

"A scorpion who reads, That's not something you hear of every day." She had a happy little glint about it. "I must ask, how the hell do you turn pages on a book without fingers?" She laughed over the mental image.

"Well I still _have_ hands and fingers, the weaponry and armour is just in the way so it is notably awkward. The book is either on the floor or pinned against a wall and I attempt to flip the pages with my feet, but it's about as easy as I can get it to work." He explained.

"Sorry, the image that's giving me is just great." She heckled just a little.

As she was standing right infront of him, looking up, the huge difference in size of their species became even more apparent. He was easily 3 her's tall, not the mention the 5 tonne of bio-mechanical mass. All 6 of his legs made loud thumps with every step.

"So I'll trow the question back at you, what does _your_ species do for fun?" Charlie asked in an almost condescending way.

"Humans do stupid shit out of boredom. We especially liked just killing each other for having the wrong belief for a solid 99% of our history. Personally I'm more for shooting shit, drinking way more than I should, and like the rest of us I like doing dangerous things for no actual reason. Like perhaps fucking a giant alien scorpion on the edge of enemy territory." She told him, and winked smugly.

The arachnoid folded his arms best he could, though Hellfire wasn't sure if that portrayed the same emotion in his culture. "Is this another on of your practical jokes?"

"Nah, come on let's!" She jokefully punched his armour.

"Is inter-species mating not taboo on this planet?"

"I mean, for most of us maybe, but if the thing is sentient enough to hold a conversation with then it's not all that much different right?"

"You sound like you have done this before..."

" _Might_ have strung up a Reptiloid or 2 before. They can't expect to put a buff four-armed lizardman on a planet ruled by social creatures and not have at least _one_ person try to fuck them."

"Not like we actually could breed anyways, our species are too different in size."

"You are horrendously underestimating the Human race's ability to figure out sex with just about anything if they're horny enough."

"And why would a, as you call it, "Scorpion man" trigger any sort of lustful instincts in you?"

"Hey I don't make the rules, some part of my brain I don't have control of does."

Charlie looked through the treeline again, listening for any movement, and when it was once again completely quiet, he sighed. " _Alright_. This would normally break multiple of our laws but I guess I'm already a traitor so why not." He flicked his head backwards. "Get behind there and show me that Horny Human Magic."

"Attaboy! Gotta work on the dirty-talk though." She smiled up at him encouragingly and walk around behind him.

"It was more of a command than "Dirty Talk"."

"You're getting better fast!"

Looking at the back of his tail, she saw nothing but relatively smooth scales "So, you got a dick or something back here? Any sexual organ at all?" She asked him remarkably casually, running a hand over the skin.

"Our species mates tail-to-tail, so this is odd... Try to stimulate the lower end of my tail and hopefully that'll get it out."

"Weird. Aight." She responded, and pushed her body against him. The base of his tail reached down to her navel before curling into his stomach and legs. "So, this is surprisingly comfortable, Imma just..." She took off her shirt and bra and pressed up against him again.

Her hands caressing the armoured scales on the back, her face and torso roughly rubbing against his smoother lowers.

"This doing anything for you?"

" _Mmmh_ , warm-bodied creatures sure are a wonder." He wrapped an arm around a nearby tree.

"That sounds like a Yes to me."

The answer arrived shortly as a vertical slit she has previously not seen started sprouting a fleshy-red shaft down between her breasts. "There's the guy I was looking for right on time!" She exclaimed, and booped the tip. She grasped it firmly as it slid through her hand and down her torso, covering both in a slick liquid in the process. Charlie was making quiet sounds she couldn't quite place.

"It's very sensitive and delicate, it doesn't have any protective layers, _please_ don't just grab it." He told her.

"I can be a little softer just for you." She responded with a grin.

"You don't sound too sincere."

"I'm sincere _enough._ I can go softer on the big and scary yet oh so fragile scorpion man." She sneered.

He was going to talk back, but got stopped by the pleasure of Hellfire squeezing her tits around the middle of his dick, as well as placing a kiss on the slits opening.

"'That work better for you?"

_"Yes."_

"Good."

What she assumed was the full length was out, as the skin along the slit was stretching outwards. It was roughly the length and circumference of her arm, which though obviously huge by human standards she thought was quite small for how big he was, but she also had no idea what an Arachnoid would count as average so she couldn't judge, not like the situation would be any less weird. Or hot. Either or.

It was dripping in some sort of clear self-lubricant. She started licking along the base.

"I'm starting to believe in that Horny Human Magic." He droned in enjoyment.

"Told you." Hellfire responded smugly.

The tree he was holding onto made a loud crack. "Wow there be a bit less tense before you snap the tree in half."

"Sorry, it's been quite a while since I last participated in this type of activity."

"Surely not long enough to crush a tree."

"Some decades."

"Never mind then... Ah, I guess you can't really masturbate when your arms are like 4 metres away from your dick. Well aren't you lucky you came to this planet then?"

"Yes. I never expected our species could look sexual to any others."

"Humans can have kinks for everything. Literally. Personally a big monster with a deep voice is rather appealing. So long as _I_ am in the drivers seat."

"You would call your current position to be the one in control?"

"Yes."

"How? You're pressed against my behind pleasuring me, that doesn't seem very controlling."

"Because if I'm the one handing out the pleasure, I'm also in the position to do _this_." She took a hand down to his tip again and gave a hard squeeze.

"Ow! Come on, you could have proven your point another way surely!" He whiffed his hand around his back.

"'Course, but this way is more immediately effective."

_"I told you not to do just that."_

"Aw, did I hurt the Scorp-man? I'll kiss it better." She teased and moved herself further down his dick, giving the tip a peck before starting to lick it.

"Mmmhh, much better." Charlie agreed.

"Glad it works for you." She took the head into her mouth, licking and sucking on it, she tasted something distinctly off. "Why is it so... sour?" She asked as she took it out of her mouth, noticing the deep orange liquids dripping from it which she assumed was his version of pre or ejaculate.

"I can't say I've ever tasted it nor has anyone actually put it in their mouths so I can't tell you." He responded simply.

"It's like a lemon almost. If it's orange why not just have it taste like orange? A lemon is so close they might as well just have made it taste like orange!" She said mostly to herself.

Charlie was very confused "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't worry about it." She took him back into her mouth.

Charlie let out a delighted moan.

" _Aahhhh._ Whichever deity made this planets leading species so soft and warm had the right idea."

A short while of scorpion-based pleasures later:

Hellfire had slowly moved back up to his slit. "Hey it's sort of twitching like mad, something up?"

"I'm about to finish." He answered exhaustively.

"Wowowow wait a minute, I want to have some more fun with this first." She stepped away from him, but still held his base firmly.

"I've already been delaying it, what's to stop me?"

"That the bitch holding your dick is not against the use of knives." She told him sternly.

" _I see._ So, what do you have in mind Miss Knife?"

"I want to see if my scorpion man is a good little scorpion or not."

"And what does that imply..?"

"You'll see. Do you have any other hole back here other than that slit?" She asked as she was looking over around the slit his penis erected from.

"...What could you possibly-"

"Don't question it and answer me instead."

"Right over my genitalia, flat looking scale, under that one."

She noticed an indent under a slightly protruding scale. "Oh... That is _exactly_ where I had my face pushed up against before. Charming."

"I wasn't going to tell you."

"I appreciate the thought."

She looked him over, and thought for a moment. "At first I was thinking of just fiddling with it a bit but I've already drank your lemon-pre so whatever diseases you could pass to me I would already have, so fuck it."

"What do you mean by- _Oh that feels weird."_ Charlie let out as Hellfire put her tongue inside of him, lips enclosed around it.

She had no idea what type of effect this could have on him, but seeing as he wasn't getting any less erect she assumed it was at the very least not-bad. She only did it for a short while either way.

She backed off again, licking her lips. "I'm fairly certain I didn't have to prep you in any way seeing how huge you are _but_ it sort of just comes with it. Plus eating out a giant scorpion is definitely bucket list worthy, it's even at head-height so surely this was planned."

"Did you... have to stop so soon?" He asked quietly.

"Ohoho did you like that? That Horny Human Magic coming in strong yet again."

"It was weird but in a good way I think."

"I have more planned don't you worry." She ran her hand once again down his cock, making her hand slick and moist with his liquids.

"Yes, please." He followed.

She placed her hand under his opening. "No idea what this will do to you so tell me if this will somehow kill you."

"What are you- _Ah~"_ Charlie let out a quiet moan as she slid 2 fingers inside of him. He cleared his throat. "You really have a knack for cutting me off with your actions, don't you?"

She seemingly ignored him. "Man you're _very_ tight for being the size of like an elephant."

"Things aren't exactly supposed to go up there."

She easily added a 3rd finger and wiggled them around. "So you want me to stop?"

" _No_. Please continue." His tone was very needy.

 _"Good scorpion."_ She remarked.

She quickly managed to get her whole fist in before it became too tight to go deeper, as he was clenching hard around her wrist.

"Hey can you work with me and loosen up?" She asked impatiently.

"I'm sorry it's... difficult." He sounded much more fragile than she had ever heard him.

"I'll help you out some more then." She began to stroke the base of his dick gently, making him slowly start to loosen up.

With every stroke she could get just the tiniest bit deeper into him, with every millimetre never having been touched before. Charlie started moaning louder and more uncontrollably the further she went, and his tail and stinger were swaying about. During it all, Hellfire kept telling him how good he was doing, and commenting on every twitch he made. His front legs had bent down, too lost in the pleasure to stand up properly.

It was truly a very unique situation. But it was also a lot of fun because of it.

"Can't you be a bit- more gentle." He got through the groans. "We're making too much noise."

"Uhuh, yeah, sure." She responded, as her elbow made it into him, having the opposite of his request as his moan could be heard echoing in the clearing.

And to milk that sound a little more, she quickly pushed in another fair amount. Seemed like the only right thing to do.

"Mmmm, you've been _such a good little scorpion."_ She teased. "I think you deserve it now."

Keeping her arm inside of him, she started jerking him of rapidly but still softly, as well as licking the base and slit. His whole buddy was shuddering, almost whimpering.

He gave of a deep rumble as he came, spewing his deep-orange ejaculate on the ground. He clenched so hard it was next to impossible for Hellfire to pull her arm out until he was done.

Litres upon litres poured out as she continued to stroke him. As it was about to stop and the flow turned to a drip, his rumbling became something more akin to a purr.

When he had stopped clenching enough, she started to slowly pull out her hand. It occasionally got caught again as his dick flexed on its way back into the slit.

A few moments later, she'd gotten out and was standing behind the crouched, messy, quivering giant scorpion. Quite the sight.

She picked up her shirt and bra without putting them on, and walked around to his front.

"So, did I do you good?" She asked in a smug tone, though with a sincere smile.

 _"Very."_ He responded in a huff. "Thank you for... engaging that."

"Hey no problem! It was fun." She told him happily. "Let's take another patrol around the area before it gets too dark."

"No. I want to please you too. I can take you up to my mouth and use my tongue same as you did." He offered.

"Your face is like 90% sharp objects, don't know if I trust that."

"Believe me I am completely capable of-" He stopped abruptly, hearing a very faint screaming through the woods. "You hearing that too?"

"Yup, let's go kick some ass!" She exclaimed excitedly, and Charlie gave an agreeing nod.

* * *

Epilogue; After having taken care of Mental's troops.

They were walking back through the woods, going back to their main base to alert HQ.

"You know, among humans staring is often considered rude." She told Charlie, who was looking down her chest.

"Excuse me but I had never seen your species as anything sexual until now, I'm finding them nice to look at. I feel no need to follow all your species norms." He said as he kept staring.

"Well if you want any more of them you better listen to at least _my_ norms." She told him sternly, and he stopped, so she dropped it. "I can't wait to tell the guys I fucked a giant scorpion!"

"Do you have to tell them?" Charlie sighed.

"Do you not want me to?"

"...I _guess_ I don't particularly mind."

"Good. I was gonna tell them anyways. Can you imagine the look on Carter's face when I tell him I fisted one of the moon spiders? It's gonna be great!"

They walked in silence for a while.

"Thank you, again. I still intend to pay you back in equal pleasure you gave me."

"I'll keep you up to that promise. Fist bump on it?" Hellfire lifted a hand upwards towards him.

"I find the prospect on touching something that has been both on my penis and inside of me to be somewhat off-putting."

"Oh come on, it's like all blood anyways after that fight. Fist bump me, Earth tradition." She told him.

He curled a hand together in his best attempt at a fist, and knocked it against Hellfire's.

She looked up at him with an approving and cheery expression, which he responded to with a nod.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes an actual human wrote this. I'm sorry to the 4 other Serious Sam fans who read fanfics but my monsterfucker instincts are simply too overpowering. Charlie's hot.


End file.
